Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Twitter Pitch Workshop

Entranced Publishing has had so much fun with their first ever Friday Frenzy event, but we know some of the authors felt a little overwhelmed, having to condense a whole query down to 140 characters or less. That's why, for the next two weeks, the Entranced Publishing authors are banding together to bring you Friday Frenzy Twitter Pitch Workshops!

Here's how it all works:

1.)  You post your potential query in the comments section using this formula:
                         Query (less than 100 words):
                         Twitter Pitch(es):

2.)  I give you feedback on it.

3.) You give feedback to two other people who have posted their queries - remember what goes around comes around!

Here's the bonus: I'm not alone in hosting this workshop! Some of the other lovely Entranced Publishing authors are doing it, too. So jump on over to their blogs and offer your support to Twitter pitching authors like yourself!


Feeling a little overwhelmed? Not sure how to proceed? That's okay. Hop on over to the wonderful Louise D. Gornall's  blog where you can find some very useful tips, tricks, and sample pitches!

Don't forget to follow @EntrancedPub on Twitter so you can pitch them your book during this weeks #FridayFrenzy!

Have fun and happy pitching!


  1. Congrats Kara!! That's incredibly awesome! Thanks for doing this, too, my query kinda sucks :/

    Name: Meradeth Houston
    Title: An Absence of Light
    Genre: NA light sci-fi
    Query (less than 100 words):

    The shadows Leah sees harbor more than darkness—something lives and feeds there. Something only she can see. When the shadow creatures attack her family, she’s forced to flee LA in a stolen BMW, praying the shadows, and the cops, don’t follow.

    Leah doesn’t know why she alone can see the creatures, or why they influence humans to commit rape, murder, and other dark acts. When she stumbles onto a small group of people who share her ability to detect the shadows, she jumps at the chance to learn more, especially how to get rid of the vile things. The hot hunter, Adam, makes the opportunity even sweeter, even if he already has a girlfriend. Together the group pieces together that the shadows are not from this planet and their invasion is just beginning. If the creatures succeed in their plans, all of humanity will be at their mercy.

    When Leah discovers she can communicate with the shadows, she learns of a rebel faction among the aliens. Some are trying to convince the shadows to return to their home world. In order to stop the invasion, Leah will have to face her fears of the shadows, but is there any way she can work with creatures bred in darkness?

    Twitter Pitch(es):

    >To Leah, shadows are more than an absence of light—they harbor creatures only she can see, creatures that feed off darkness.

    >Leah is afraid of the darkness—it killed her parents. Fleeing LA in a stolen can, she hopes she can escape the shadows only she can see.

    >A stolen BMW, blood on her hands, and otherworldly shadows only she can see. Leah can’t keep running; it’s time to fight back.

    1. Hey, Meradeth! Thanks for stopping by. And your query doesn't suck. I'd pick up this book and read it =)

      Okay, your Twitter pitches are good--especially the last one! A stolen BMW, blood on her hands, and otherworldly shadows....what a great start! If that doesn't reach off the virtual page and slap you in the face then I don't know what will. That alone has dozens of questions running through my mind:

      Why did she steal a BMW? That's a pretty noticeable car. Why not a Ford Escort or something? Why does she have blood on her hands? Is it her blood? Someone elses? Did she kill someone? Was it intentional or accidental? What are these otherwordly shadows? Are they real or in her mind? What do they want? Why are they here?

      To me, there are just too many questions I'd want answers to and would therefore ask to read more. Of course, that's just me and I can't speak for anyone else.

      My professional opinion: lead with the last one. Don't forget to hashtag the genre (#NA) and #FridayFrenzy. I honestly don't know if I could come up with anything better. lol. Let me think on it...

    2. Wow! Sounds fascinating! ... and you got me with at "the hot hunter." LOL! I'm a hero sap. I agree with Kara that the last pitch is strongest. If you want to keep sending pitches during the different windows of time next Friday, you might also restructure your last sentence in your query:

      Leah will have to face her fears of the shadows, but is there any way she can work with creatures bred in darkness?

      I thought that was a nice ending and enough to make me want to read more.

    3. Thank you SO much! Happy that you liked that pitch, it was my favorite, too :) And I'm so going to work to bring in my hot hunter a little more!

    4. Wow, Meradeth! This sounds like a great story. And (again) I'm with Kara - that last pitch is really compelling. You had me hooked. ;)

      Maybe you can sub the hot hunter for the stolen BMW. (Please don't lose the otherworldy shadows or blood on her hands! Love them.) Here's my stab:

      An unattainable love, blood on her hands, and otherworldly shadows only she can see. Leah can’t keep running; it’s time to fight back.

      And be sure to hashtag genre and FridayFrenzy. Great job!

    5. Thanks so much ST! Love your spin on this!

  2. Ooh this sounds like a great read. I like your twitter pitches too. I did notice that they all say she's the only one who can see the creatures, but your longer query clarifies that she's part of a group. Maybe you can write a pitch that plays up that aspect, especially since that is where the romantic element comes into play. Entranced is looking for romance, so make sure it's clear that your story has some.

    1. Good point--thank you!! I was having trouble working that angle in--need to tweak a little I think.

  3. Boy! This sounds like a great read:) I think if you can add some kissy stuff, somehow, this pitch is pitch perfect! For sure, add the sexy and hot hunter in there:)

    1. lol, I totally need some more kissy stuff in this one!

  4. Great ideas, ladies! Maybe...

    Leah didn't plan to mourn her parents death by fighting shadowy creatures side by side with a hot hunter.

  5. Name: H. L. Wampler

    Title: War of the Gods

    Genre: NA fantasy

    Book Blurb: She was born a goddess, but raised as a mortal.

    19-year old Colette Grey is as far from normal as any girl can be, and she does not know it yet. Her life begins to change in ways she never dreamed when her migraines begin to transport her to another time and place. She eventually comes to realize that nothing is ever what it seems, and her life has been nothing but lies. Colette is informed that she is the only hope for all humankind. Not even the great Greek Gods can stop the coming doom.

    She heads to Greece for what she thought was a family vacation. Meeting the gorgeous twins Adrian and Adronis was more than luck. It was planned. What was not planned was Mia and Adrian falling in love.

    Time is short. The world is crumbling around her. Colette must save humanity and her budding relationship, or lose everyone and everything she loves.

    Twitter Pitch(es):She was born a goddess, but raised as a mortal. Colette Grey has no idea how much her life will change because of a trip to Greece and a gorgeous set of twins.

    1. Oooh, I love sexy twins! Okay, here are a couple of ideas:

      #NA Born a goddess. Raised a mortal. Collete struggles to save the world while falling in love. #FridayFrenzy

      #NA Being a teen & falling in love is hard enough without the fate of mankind depending on her. #FridayFrenzy

    2. Oooh, sounds like something I'd love to read! Twins--utter awesomeness :) Anyhow, I was wondering who Mia is in the second paragraph? Is that short for Colette and I just don't know it? (Very possible!) Also, any chance you could give a bit more detail in the first paragraph, like how her life is lies? I'd like something tantalizing to make me go "wow, that's strange/random/horrible" :)

      Totally love "#NA Born a goddess. Raised a mortal. Collete struggles to save the world while falling in love. #FridayFrenzy"

    3. I changed my MC's name after I had finished the manuscript and wrote the query. I just wasn't super crazy about the first one I picked. I didn't even realize I missed that one. lol.

      And I'm really liking that one too.

    4. Love the twins and gods/fantasy premise. Your pitch has an excellent start. Be picky with your words. For example, is her last name needed in a twitter pitch? Kara's first example is perfect.

      My samples:

      #NA Born a goddess. Raised a mortal. On a trip to Greece, Colette's life changes with the help of Adrian & Adronis.

      #NA Time is short. Can the goddess, Collete save humanity and her budding relationship, or will she lose everyone and everything she loves?

    5. Thank you, Melinda!!

      I'm terrible at queries. I've rewritten that one at least 30 times. I've never been sure if age and full name was necessary or not.

    6. Hi HL. I left a comment over on my blog, but I LOVE this premise. (I'm a sucker for mythology!) Here was my twist on Kara's awesomeness:

      Born a goddess. Raised a mortal. Collette must chose between saving her world and following her heart. #FridayFrenzy #(your genre)

      ps - you are not terrible at queries. You have really good stuff here.

    7. Thanks, STBende. It's good to hear someone say that.

      I combined a few different ones and got this.

      Colette was born a goddess, but someone forgot to tell her. Now she has to save the world while falling in love. #FridayFrenzy#NAFantasy

    8. I like that pitch! It's a good combination of the suggestions you've been given. The "someone forgot to tell her" gives us a sense of the humor in it, the "has to save the world" gives us the drama/tension and the "while falling in love" gives us the romance aspect. Nicely done =)

      Good luck on Friday!